Parenting is probably one of the most rewarding gifts you’ve ever received. It’s probably also one of the most difficult.
Each child is different, with their unique personalities and challenges. Some of them are so easy to parent, while others are extremely challenging. Unfortunately, none of them enter this world with an instruction manual on how to parent them.
Parenting can be overwhelming
In todays world, we have so many responsibilities, and not nearly as much help as we need. That makes it difficult to be the types of parents we want to be.
Spending quality time with our children often take a backseat to our everyday responsibilities. The laundry needs to be done, the house cleaned, dinner cooked, and dishes washed.
Then there are the practical parenting responsibilities we have like homework, bath-time, bed-time teaching them manners and how to be responsible. By the end of the day we are exhausted. Particularly since they know how to push all our buttons.
The 30 day parenting challenge
This 30 day parenting challenge is designed to help you reconnect with your child by doing 1 activity daily where you either spend quality time with your kids, or you work on yourself to become a better parent.
What’s included in the 30 day parenting challenge
- Daily activities to help you connect more with your child
- Learning skills to be a more calm and peaceful parent
- Teaching your children life skills, like communicating, gratitude, kindess.
- Self care for you so that you are more present and happy with your children.
- A yes day at the end of the 30 day parenting challenge (optional)
- And much more!
How to complete the 30 day parenting challenge
- Start by enrolling in the free 30 day parenting challenge (you can login to our website with google using the top right button to make the process easier).
- Take a look at each of the individual daily activities to get an understanding of what your next 30 days will look like.
- Plan what date you will begin the 30 day parenting challenge – Choose a day where you have some extra time to complete the starting activities.
- Start each day by taking a look at your daily activity, and plan how and when you will complete the activity
- Once you have completed the activity, press “complete” on the activity so that it is marked off.
- If you can not complete an activity on the assigned day, that is okay. Simply switch it with another day – remember marking it as complete will allow you to keep track of which days you have completed.
Who should complete this 30 day parenting challenge
We have designed this 30 day challenge to be effective for parents of all ages. Each activity has ideas for parents of toddlers, preschoolers, school age children, and tweens/teenagers. Look through the daily activity, and choose an activity based on the child your child is in.
This 30 day challenge is perfect for parents who are looking to connect more with their children. Remember, connection with your child is probably the most effective way to improve their behavior.
When children feel loved and listened to, they are more likely to listen to you as well.
PLEASE READ BEFORE BEGINNING THE 30 DAY PARENTING CHALLENGE
Your child may act out after spending quality time with you
The 30 day parenting challenge recommends setting timers for some of the activities you do with your children. When your timer goes of, and your child realizes that fun activity is over, they might get upset.
The reason your child has fallen apart is simple – this was an activity that they really needed for themselves. And they are upset about the fact that it is over.
Oftentimes connecting with you during the activity, will also make them feel closer to you. This will mean that they are more comfortable expressing their emotions. These are emotions that they have been holding in during the day. And now they feel comfortable expressing the emotions.
This is an opportunity to teach your child how to regulate their emotions
One of the most important skills you will teach your child as a parent is emotional regulation.
Emotional Self-Regulation is the ability to deal with strong emotions like anger, enthusiasm, frustration, anxiety, or sadness in a healthy manner.
As parents we often find our children’s strong emotions overwhelming, so we just want them to stop. We may therefore inadvertently encourage our kids to simply push their feelings down. Instead, during this 30 day parenting challenge we recommend taking the following steps when they have big emotions:
Step 1: Listen & acknowledge how they are feeling.
Simply listen to them, express their feelings and emotions. If they say they are upset about something, really listen to them express their feelings. Don’t try to reason with them or use it as a teaching moment. JUST LISTEN, and empathize.
If your child is throwing a full tantrum, you don’t even need to say anything, other then reassure her. Just let them know that they are safe, and that you are there fore them. And simply give them your full attention.
Step 2: Set Limits
Your child being angry doesn’t mean that they can hit you. If your child tries to hit you move away, and tell them that you’re not going to allow them to hit you. If they follow, be firm and tell them that you understand that they are angry, and it’s okay to use their words, but they have to be gentle with you. (gentle touching is okay.)
Step 3: Don’t give in
It can be tempting to just give in to your child when they are upset. But it is important not to give in to them once the timer has gone off. Instead you can cuddle with them, or have a fun snack with them together. It is important that your child learn limits as well. And by using a timer, you are keeping this activity special and sacred.
Step 4: Don’t let yourself fall into the pit
When our children have big feelings, or they behave in ways we don’t like, it brings about strong feelings in us parents as well. Different parents become afraid of different things. Some parents become terrified that these tantrums will never stop, and that their child will grow up to be a brat. Other parents find the crying overwhelming, and just want it to stop – so they react by either yelling or withdrawing.
When you notice yourself getting upset, about how your child is reacting simply take a few deep breaths and repeat a calming mantra. Something like “I’m being the best parent that I can be, and my child is being the best baby, toddler, child etc that they can be.” This will help bring you back in the present, and then try and shift your focus back to your child.
Don’t blame yourself if you still react badly. Just like our kids are developing, we are learning to be better parents. And we have to relearn new skills each time our kids grow older, and change. Just remember, the more you practice, the more calm and patient you will become. And your children ill watch you, and learn these skills from you as well.
Step 5: Talk after he/she has calmed down
Remember that lectures never work. Remain calm, and discuss what happened with your child instead.
What to do if your child is a toddler/incapable of reasonible.
Once your child is calm, you should describe what happened as a story. This will help them understand exactly what happened. Here’s an example of a format you can follow:
- You wanted…
- I said ….
- This made you feel..
- You got angry and did… (don’t blame be factual)
- I said/did….
- You were really upset huh. You had some big feelings. Everyone gets upset and cries sometime. I’m glad you feel better.
- And then (for young children particularly change the subject or let him
What to do if your child is older, and able to problem solve
For older children simply ask them to relay to you how they were feeling. really listen to them. Don’t make judgments. Once they’ve expressed how they were feeling, you can come up with alternative solutions that they feel more comfortable with. Perhaps setting a reminder timer, so that they know that the activity is about to be over. Ask them to come up withsuggestions. This will teach them problem solving and make them feel more connected with the solution.
Benefits of completing the 30 day parenting challenge
You will learn to react more calmly and peacfully
During the 30 day parenting challenge you will learn how to react more calmly and peacefully. You will have numerous opportunities throughout this challenge to practice being more calm and patient, and less reactive. While initially it may be difficult, you will see slow and gradual change. Remember it takes time to create a habit of reacting calmly when you are triggered by your child.
You will become a better role model for your children
As your children watch how you react to situations they learn from you. Therefore, if they watch your reaction to an event through this 30 day parenting challenge, they will learn how to react calmly and peacefully as well. Additionally, children tend not to mimic their parent’s behavior immediately. It takes time for them to pick up on patterns of behavior and habits. If you show your child that you are a calm and patient person, they will eventually learn to react calmly and peacefully as well.
You will connect with your child through quality time
The 30 day challenge forces you to spend some quality time every day connecting with your children. This is important because it helps build up a relationship. Often times our kids are too busy doing their own thing that they don’t spend time connecting with us. The more you connect with your children the stronger their bond will become. The more they will feel more loved and heard. And this is vital to having a well behaved child because they will involve us in their lives.
You will be less likely to yell at your children
The 30 day parenting challenge helps develop your patience muscle. You will learn how to deal with situations in a more calm and peaceful manner. Thus, you will be less likely to yell at your children because you know that yelling doesn’t help the situation. Yelling just makes everyone’s emotions escalate, making it more difficult to deal with situations on an everyday basis. You will feel calmer and more in control of your emotions as well as your child’s.
You will notice a change in your child’s behavior
At the end of each day, you will reflect on how different your child reacted to situations. You will notice that they become more calm and patient with their emotions. They may still have some big feelings but they know how to express them better and therefore are calmer overall. Also, children tend to show behaviors that they learn from their parents. Therefore, your child may not be as hyperactive and demanding because you are setting firm boundaries with them, while treating them with love and kindess. This will make it easier for them to listen to you and follow directions better.