The 30 day relationship challenge is designed to reignite a romantic spark to your relationship. To increase the intimacy and vulnerability in your relationship. And to strengthen the roots of your relationship.
The challenge draws on principles from the New York Time Bestseller “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” – by John M. Gottman, PHD.
His research studies of couples have provided unprecedented insight into what drives a successful relationship. And has allowed us to create this 30 day relationship challenge to bring you and your partner closer.
All relationships go through stagnant patches. Even the ones that started out very passionately.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with your relationship. It simply means it’s time for you to spice things up.
What is included in the 30 day relationship challenge?
- Intimate, fun, thought provoking and rewarding activities to spice up your love life
- A social community where you can discuss your relationship without judgement. Strangers sometimes provide the best therapy
- Exclusive videos with tips on creating moments that will help you connect more closely with your partner.
- A motivational environment and structure that will make you want to complete the relationship challenge
How to make your relationship a success story
These momentary lulls that you experience in your relationship can actually be used to make your relationship stronger then you had imagined.
John Gottman found that couples who remained together did one thing differently. They dedicated 6 hours a week to their relationship. That’s not even one hour a day.
But what was even more interesting was that there was a specific type of activities and behaviors that these couples engaged in.
That’s where this relationship challenge comes in.
This 30 day relationship challenge provides you with a blueprint to engage in activities that are intimate, fun, thought provoking and rewarding.
But most importantly it will help you strengthen your connection with your partner.
It will help you create long lasting bonds which will make it easier for you to push past future relationship difficulties that arise.
Many people report reading books and watching videos about creating intimacy and connections. But they find it difficult to implement these ideas.
This challenge is designed for you to implement that advice.
Stop wishing. Start doing.
Relationship Areas Proven To Strengthen Your Relationship
1. Enhance your love maps to understand each other better & to strengthen your bond.
Love maps are how well you understand your partners dreams, hopes, wishes, traumas, insecurities and history.
Opening up to your partner and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with them is imperative in strengthening your relationship.
Couples that work on regularly updating their love maps report being more in love, and more in sync with each other.
If you’ve known your partner for a long time it may seem pointless to spend time discussing yourselves. After all the two of you know each other very well.
However you will find that every time you have a conversation about your dreams, hopes, traumas and insecurities you will learn something new about your partner.
Both you and your partner are constantly changing. And during every phase in life you both become more receptive and vulnerable to each other.
What your partner is willing to share with you today will be very different from a couple of years ago.
Furthermore simply having these conversations will make you feel closer and more connected to your partner
2. Show affection to increase intimacy and love in your relationship.
Couples that are more affectionate towards each other report being more in love and more satisfied with their relationship.
This is true of both sexual and non-sexual affection. When you are affectionate with your partner you feel less stressed and happier overall.
Some couples report that as they become busy with life they tend to become less affection towards their partner.
Or they report that the affection becomes more of a habit then a sign of love.
If that sounds familiar to you then try and make an extra effort to engage in affection during the next month. The activities listed in this relationship areas will provide a starting place for you.
But you can also start to take the initiative to give your partner a passionate kiss or a heartfelt hug more regularly.
Some of you may have absolutely no problem in this department. And that’s okay. You can mark of the affection activities on days where you are exhausted and don’t have time to do the more time consuming activities.
3. Express fondness & admiration to strengthen your relationship and allow it to weather future storms.
This is a relationship area that couples who are together for a long time overlook. You and your partner may have had lots of compliments for each other early in your relationship.
But after a while many couples end up taking each other’s qualities for granted.
During this 30 day relationship challenge you will have ample opportunity to show your partner what you love about them and their personality.
Couples that express fondness & admiration for each other report finding it easier to get through difficult relationship patches. That is because they are very aware of how much their partner appreciates them and why.
4. Give to each other to show how much you care.
There are so many ways to give to your partner to show them you care. Couples who do things for each other in a way that their partner appreciates are more likely to last.
Some people like receiving thoughtful gifts like love notes and little trinkets. Others feel loved when you help them out with chores.
To find out how your partner feels loved complete the 5 love languages quiz listed in the “Enhance your love map” activities.
5. Spend quality time with each other.
You can spend quality time together in so many different ways. And at the end of the day this is what will keep your relationship strong.
We have provided a list of fun activities that you can do together, either at home or outdoors. But remember you don’t have to stick to these activities.
What is important is that you spend quality time together.
You may want to discuss with your partner what they consider by quality time. Some couples are okay with spending the night watching Netflix together.
But other may not consider that quality time. Ask your partner what they think . You may be surprised by their answer.
Couples with Kids
If you and your partner have children to take care of you may find it hard to take out time for each other.
You may want to consider scheduling time together during your kid’s naps, or hiring a babysitter.
Or creating an early bedtime so that you have quality time with your partner.
If neither of those options are possible then try and set up activities in advance for you to keep your kids busy. And give you and your husband some time together.
Regardless it is a good idea to plan time together in advance.
You may also decide to involve your kids when you are spending quality time together. Are you doing your partners laundry for them?
Do it with the kids! Or if you are taking time out to express fondness & admiration for your spouse, your kids will benefit from hearing you say positive things about each other.
How the 30 day relationship challenge is structured
- You will complete one activity from the challenge schedule every day. Once you have completed it you can mark it as complete, making it simple to manage your activities. That way you will be able to keep track of your daily progress.
- Each activity has been carefully handpicked by our experts using science backed research to strengthen your relationship.
- For the more busy days we have included some quick activities that will help you connect with your partner without requiring a lot of energy.
- Weekends are the perfect time to engage in more time consuming activities.
- We have divided the activities into 5 categories. Each relationship category will help strengthen a different part of your relationship.
- We recommend that you select a mix of activities from each category.
- If you find yourselves consistently ignoring one relationship area make sure you revisit it together and discuss what the reason for that is.
- By the end of your second week make sure that you have completed at least one activity in each relationship category.
“This 30 day relationship challenge has really helped me and my husband. I completed the challenge about 2 years after we had our kids and it really helped us reconnect on a different level. There are so many things I learnt about him that I surprising didn’t know before.”
“The relationship challenge helped us be more vulnerable with each other. This has been something that we have struggled with previously, but somehow the activities in the challenge let us open up to each other a lot more.”
“I wouldn’t say that our relationship was bad before doing this challenge, but it had started to get a bit boring. It helped us become passionate about each other. And we started to have sex more regularly – even though it wasn’t something the challenge explicitly told us to do. It was just something that happened. I think it may have been going down memory lane which reminded us of our past escapades.”
“We felt more in love and more connected during the 30 day relationship challenge. I recommend 100%”
Introduction -Read before starting the challenge
Welcome to the 30 day relationship challenge! For the next 30 days you will be working on improving different areas of your relationship. We recommend looking through the questions together the night before. You may decide to follow the order of the 30 day relationship challenge or you may select exercises more spontaneously. Once you are done with an exercise, you can mark it as complete so that you can keep track of your progress. However you decide to follow the challenge we hope you have fun!
Week 1. Express fondness & admiration to strengthen your relationship and allow it to weather future storms.
This week you and your partner will work on growing your fondness & admiration for each other. You will recall positive memories, and express the things that you love most about your partner. Thinking positively about your partner will help you fall more in love & listening to what your partner loves about you will make you feel more loved.
Week 2 - Enhance your love maps to understand each other better & to strengthen your bond.
This week you are going to be learning more about each other. Like you did previously make sure you go through the question before you discuss it together. If you are unable to answer any one of these questions we have provided an alternative question that you can discuss together instead..
Week 3 - Show affection to increase intimacy and love in your relationship.
Week 3 gives you and your partner an opportunity to show physical affection to each other. If this is an area that you and your partner already regularly engage in try and make this week extra special and meaningful.
Weel 4. Gift Giving & Acts of Service
Last 2 Days
Activities For Quality Time
Each week you should be taking out 1 day to spend quality time together. This is in addition to your daily challenge. Here are some suggestions of quality time activities:
- Cook dinner together
- Go grocery shopping. Make a list together first
- Exercise together
- Play a boardgame
- Play a videogame
- Plan your future together
- Stargate. Or sit outside together
- Talk over drinks
- Do an online class together
- Watch a tv show and discuss it afterwords
- Listen to music
- Create a self-improvement plan together
- Do laundry together. Or clean the house
- Go on a bikek rideSee a play
- Go for a walk outside
- Do a barbeque. Or go on a picnic
- Give each other massages
- Make fun cocktails
- Create a bucketlist of things you want to do together
- Attend a trivia night online
- Have breakfast in bed
- Attend a festival together
- Go bowling or play mini golf
- Drive in theatre
- Go the beach