why he didn’t fight for your relationship is the only thing you can think about right now. It’s like he just gave up on it. Was it because of you? Was there something wrong with him? Or was it something else entirely?
Every relationship has it’s problems, and requires effort and a fighting spirit in order to survive. And whether or not each partner is willing to fight for the relationship depends on their past experience.
This means that oftentimes that aspects beyond our control overshadow the beautiful moments in our relationships.
Your partners baggage may have just been too overwhelming for him to decide to do the right thing and fight – Even if he really loved you,
You deserve happiness
Before we get into what the research says about why men don’t always fight for relationships, I want to stress one thing.
Remember you are worth fighting for.
Your boyfriend not fighting for a relationship does not mean that there is anything wrong with you.
In fact most relationships end because of lack of compatibility or personality differences. Not because of something wrong with the other person.
The right person will put in the effort required to make relationships work. It may be difficult to believe right now, but someday you will find someone who is willing to fight for your future and happiness.
Love is a tricky thing. and sometimes in order for us to find the right person, we have to go through hell first.
And you know that. But for now you need closure. You need to understand why your partner didn’t fight for you.
Why he didn’t fight for your relationship
Science shows us that there are many reasons that a partner is not willing to fight for their relationship.
He had a dismissive avoidant attachment style
Your attachment style determines how you behave in a relationship. It is largely shaped by how loved and secure your parents made you feel as a child.
Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style have a tendency to avoid emotional intimacy. This is because they have learned that they can’t count on the people they care about to be there for them. Sadly, many of these individuals have grown up in an environment where rejection and abandonment were common.
An individual with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style is someone who pushes people away before being rejected or abandoned. It’s difficult for this type of individual to open up and share themselves with another person. They may also like to “play it cool” and not reveal any type of emotion.
Individuals with a dismissive avoidant attachment style are much less likely to fight for their partner. This is because they
He had trust issues
One reason someone might break up with their partner even if they loved them is trust issues. They may not believe that their partner will always be loyal to them, or they might think that their partner is lying about something.
Regardless of what caused these trust issues, the person who was put in the corner feels stuck because they still love their partner but can’t forgive if they can’t trust them. The victim in this situation may try to fix the problem by finding out more information about how to gain back this trust, but it usually doesn’t work.
There was miscommunication between you and your partner
Communication in any relationship is the key to success. It’s a sign of a healthy and passionate relationships where partners talk about their feelings, desires, insecurities, and thoughts in a constructive manner.
Miscommunication in relationships is much more common then we realize.
Oftentimes partners misunderstand what the other person is trying to say, or what they feel. This can lead to a break up.
Your partner may simply have been unable to express themselves and their feelings. And therefore they were not happy in the relationship.
This is probably the reason if your ex rarely talked about what he was going through, and rarely used words to express what he needed.
Research has found that miscommunication is very likely to predict marital distress and divorce.
Again this isn’t your fault. In order to be happy your ex will learn to have to express himself better.
He just wasn’t in the mental space to be in a relationship
He may have not been ready to be in a serious relationship by the time you came into his life.
This doesn’t mean that he didn’t love you because people can be in love with someone, yet not want to date them.
People sometimes have phases that they go through before they are ready to settle down and commit.
And they feel the need to put the red lights on the relationship.
He had a fear of commitment
Past experiences and trauma sometimes causes an irrational fear of commitment. If your partner was hurt very badly in a previous relationship, or as a child they may develop this. And so they find it difficult to commit to someone long-term because they don’t want to experience the pain of loss all over again.
As soon as they started to feel that the relationship can cause them any amount of pain the started to withdraw. This can even happen because of normal relationship disagreements.
He was insecure
When someone doesn’t think they are good enough, or that their partner is too god for them, they are a lot less likely to fight for them.
It’s difficult to emotionally invest in a relationship when you think that the other person is going to end it anyway.
After every fight they may think that this is it – this is when the relationship is going to end.
And then when they can’t take the uncertainty anymore they realize that it’s not worth it to keep fighting for the relationship anymore.
He had unrealistic expectations
One of the most common reasons why relationships don’t work out is unrealistic expectations.
A lot of the time, people want something that they just can’t have. They may think that their partner needs to change for them to be happy, but it’s not really up to their partner to make those changes. The partner just expects perfection from their relationship – which just not possible. And then they get frustrated when they realize that.
In these type of situations, it’s best for both parties to step back and take a break from one another before exploring what could happen if they revisit the relationship at a later time.
He’ll eventually realize that fighting occurs in all relationships. It might take him some time to accept it, but it’s not possible for you to pull him out of his imaginary perfect story.
He wanted you to fight for him
As women we often think that men are tough. And We expect them to be the ones fighting for us. But the truth is that men are not very different from us.
They too can have strong emotions, hurts and suffer from a broken heart. He may just have been hoping that you loved him enough to to fight for him. And was hoping to see a sign which showed that your feelings were as strong as his.
He just didn’t love you enough
It’s also possible that your ex just didn’t love you enough to make the relationship work.
And the truth is that sucks, but that doesn’t mean that there was anything wrong with you.
It just means that he wasn’t meant to be your soulmate.
The bottom line is he didn’t fight for your relationship
Let’s be honest though. It really matter why it happened. The problem with life is that sometimes there is no way to know for sure what someone else is thinking.
And the fact that he didn’t put in as much effort he should have means that he wasn’t as perfect as you think he was.
A part of you might even still hope that he comes back
You might wake up every single day, filled with hope that this will be the moment that he realizes how badly he messed up and that he he begins fighting for you again.
And you never know what’s going to happen in life. But you probably know deep down that it’s over. And that it’s time for you to move on.
You need to remember that you are tough. You have friends and family who will help you through what you are going through.
You will come out of this stronger then ever. Because you will never stop fighting for yourself.
Because your happiness is not based on being with one person.
