Confidence is a super important trait for everyone. We all seem to want it so bad sometimes. But I’m not going to lie – confidence isn’t something that just happens overnight, and keeping on top of it requires some effort. If you practice daily habits to build confidence, it will be some of the first steps.
Find the root cause behind low self-confidence.
The first step in making you a more confident person is to figure out the reason why you lack confidence.
It could be some past incident or some fear which is holding you back in life. Take some time reflecting and getting to the root of your fear.
For example, think of your greatest fear or insecurity that is stopping you from meeting your goals. Dig a little deeper and try to understand why you are afraid of that particular thing.
Journaling your feelings and getting to the root of your fears will help you understand yourself better and help in building self-confidence.
Accept yourself for who you are and build your self-esteem
Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to gaining confidence. When you don’t like yourself, it’s hard to feel confident. I used to often find myself constantly criticizing myself and comparing myself to others. It took me some time to realize, that if I didn’t accept myself as is how will I build self-confidence.
Remember most people aren’t perfect. We all have to learn to be nice to ourselves. Each individual has their own strengths and weaknesses. Just because someone has more money that does not make them better than the other person.
When you start working on accepting yourself with all your quirks and flaws. You will notice your own success in life. You will also start to radiate the positive energy and happiness that confidence brings to you.
Build Self Confidence recalling your strengths
Therefore in order to build self-confidence, it is important to practice the exercise of recalling your strengths and reminding yourself that you are capable.
Remember we all have something to be proud of. It could be anything from graduating from school, getting a new job, or overcoming an obstacle.
During my journey to becoming more confident, I practiced the exercise of writing down 10 things I am good at. I did this exercise once a week, it was a good reminder and made me feel good about myself.
It is also a good idea to seek advice from others in regards to what your strengths are. This is a good confidence-building activity and will make you feel more confident.
Reduce your need for external validation
External validation is a dangerous thing. It can be very detrimental to one’s self-esteem and confidence if it is the only thing that makes them feel good or give them self-worth.
If you need constant validation to believe in yourself, then it will be tough for you to truly have confidence. A lot of people get their self-worth from what others are saying about them, but the truth is you should be valuing yourself.
Remember being confident isn’t about bragging or showing off, it’s just about being okay with who you are and having the courage to be happy in life.
Build Confidence through Positive self-talk
Another important key to building self-confidence is to eliminate your negative thinking.
I liked to practice a technique in which I would talk to myself positively. You can read more about how positive thinking changed my life if this is something you are looking to do.
This included slowly eliminating all negative thinking and trying to change it to become more positive. It can be very difficult because the negative thoughts are already in your head but start bringing awareness to how you’re thinking.
For example, if you catch yourself saying something like “I’m not good enough” then replace that with “I am working towards being confident”.
This self-encouragement was something that really helped me feel develop my self-confidence.
Just remember you’re the only one who can change your thinking and you have to replace all those negative thoughts with a more positive ones.
Set Clear Goals and work towards them to build self-confidence
Having a goal is an incredibly important thing because it allows you to see how far we’ve come and motivates us to keep going forward.
Therefore setting clear and smart goals and working towards them will definitely help you build your self-confidence. The reason behind that is that when we achieve those small milestones, we start to believe in ourselves and it gives us hope that we can do better.
By setting clear goals with a deadline, you’ll be able to come up with an action plan on how you are going to achieve them.
And by actually following through with your goal, you will gain more self-confidence as well as believe more in your abilities.
Use body language to create a confidence habit.
A huge part of confidence is your body language. Body language can both reflect how others perceive you and also have an impact on how you feel about yourself.
By using your body in the correct way, you’ll start to become more confident in yourself and will project it onto others.
I came across a video by Amy Cuddy at Ted Talk on body language. In the video, she talks about how by changing your posture, you can actually change your thinking and bodily hormones.
Watch her Ted Talk here:
This is a good technique to use if you’re going into a situation that makes you doubt yourself. And it will help you to look more confident as well.
For instance, I would ask myself before going into social situations as to “what a confident me would do?” I would then act accordingly. For example, if confident I would lift my head up and make eye contact, then I would do exactly that.
Other body language tips you can practice for more confidence.
- Maintain an assertive position.
- Use your hands to portray confidence.
- Keep your feet planted wide apart.
- Maintain eye contact.
- Project positivity and optimism.
- Avoid upspeak – Turning statements into questions.
- Avoid using filler words.
Step out of your comfort zone and take control of your own life
If you want to gain confidence, then the best way to do it is by stepping out of your comfort zone.
There are tons of things that we have been avoiding because they make us feel uncomfortable or nervous.
To be honest it took me almost a year to build my self-confidence. I was a girl who was so comfortable in her own skin that I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. It took me some time to realize that to build self-confidence. You have to start doing things that you are afraid of. You have to accept challenges in order to succeed.
Try and make it a goal to try and do something you are afraid of. Whether it meant going and making conversation with the stranger next door or signing up on dating websites.
Trust me the first date I went on, I literally dropped my drink on the table. Remember each baby step will make you are a more confident person. It’s okay to make mistakes, making mistakes is a part of life.
A growth mindset is a key to become a more confident person
Have you heard of a growth mindset?
To give a brief explanation individuals with a growth mindset believe that intelligence can be increased by challenging oneself and learning new things.
If you look at confident people around you, you will notice some common traits. For example, people with this mindset are willing to take risks. They constantly take on challenges and believe they have the ability to develop new skills. You will continuously see them taking action and trying to achieve new things.
People with a growth mindset also accept failure and take it as an opportunity to grow and learn. They have the self-belief that even if they fail they can learn from the mistakes and overcome the challenges.
Confident people and those with a growth mindset also tend to be open to all forms of feedback and criticism. These are no insecure people who are comparing themselves to others and have self-doubt. These are a group of like-minded people who are looking at every opportunity to grow themselves.
When you say things like “I am having a terrible day” or “I hate my life!”, what kind of energy are you putting out into the world?
Focusing on all the negative aspects in your life and even catastrophizing it is not going to do anything for your confidence.
Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are happening. Focus on your blessings and practice gratitude. This is a simple psychological trick to build self-confidence.
The more you focus on your blessings, the happier you are going to feel inside. You will then be able to carry that positive energy into challenging situations that require confidence.
Write down all the things that are making you happy or you are grateful for, this is a simple way of building your emotional intelligence.
Tips to practice these confidence activities
Trying to build your own confidence can often be overwhelming. Here are some tips to keep you going through the process.
Be patient with yourself
People tend to think that results are quick and you will become more confident in one day. Building self-confidence takes time. There is no magic pill that we can take to build higher levels of confidence overnight.
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel confident every single day. Allow yourself to learn and grow from your mistakes and eventually things will start falling into place.
Celebrating your accomplishments will help you build more confidence. Celebrate every small achievement. Even if that means celebrating your conversation with a stranger.
It is important to recognize all the good work you have been doing and positively reinforce these skills. This will make it easier for you to develop and build more confidence.
Remember you are not alone
Don’t forget that everyone was in your position at one point in their life or still is. Remind yourself of this fact when you are feeling low about yourself. Know that there are others who have gone through the same experience, including celebrities! They have experienced anxiety, fear, and insecurity just like you.
Get Started and build your confidence activities today
Unfortunately, the only way to build our confidence is by going through these uncomfortable feelings. However, it can be a very rewarding process because you will learn about yourself and who you are as a person. It’s okay to take time for self-introspection but don’t make this your excuse to stay in your comfort zone.
Finding joy in the little moments is what matters most. This will help you gain more confidence and courage to face challenges when they come your way.
Our 30-day confidence challenge workbook will help you practice these confidence techniques in your daily life.