It is very difficult to not compare ourselves to others. Each moment of our lives we tend to find ourselves being overcritical of our own looks and comparing them to that of someone else. I often found myself constantly comparing my looks to that of my friends. How to stop comparing your looks to others is achieved by improved self-esteem, self-acceptance, and being comfortable in our own body
Why do we play the comparison game?
Comparison occurs because we are filled with insecurities, shame, and doubts about ourselves. Therefore in order to feel better about ourselves, we start comparing ourselves to others.
We feel that if our physical appearance is better than that of others we are better than them, and this gives us validation.
The reality is that we will always find someone who we find more beautiful, and therefore we will never feel good about our looks.
The real problem lies is with our inner critic
As humans, we spend most of our energy and time worrying about our own life. Therefore our biggest critic ends up being our own self.
This voice in our head tells us that we are not beautiful enough. This creates self-doubt and we become overly critical of our own appearance.
We fail to recognize that our inner voice stems from our past insecurities, mistakes, and experiences. As we are not secure in our own body and don’t love ourselves as-is we often find some flaw to make a comparison.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
Accept yourself for the way you look
Self-esteem is made up of two things: self-acceptance and the love you have for yourself.
As soon as we start comparing ourselves to others, we lose touch with these important aspects of our own selves.
Therefore a great way to improve our self-esteem and stop comparing ourselves to others is by being kinder to ourselves.
In order to stop comparing yourself to others, you have to learn how to accept the way you look.
Accept your looks with all the flaws and weaknesses it has. Start loving your body the way it is and appreciate it as is.
Appreciate the beauty in your looks
There is always beauty in everything we do and it is up to us to appreciate and notice this beauty.
If we focus on the beauty within ourselves, we will learn how to stop comparing our looks to others.
Stop focusing on what you think makes someone else more beautiful than you. Instead, look at your own beauty and embrace it.
Be grateful for your looks and you will notice yourself avoiding the comparison trap. For instance, when I found myself feeling insecure every morning I used to practice gratitude and write three things I was thankful for. I made a list of all the important qualities of my body that I loved.
That is how I became more comfortable in my own skin and started loving my own looks.
Shut your inner critic up
As humans, we are too harsh on ourselves by default. We criticize our own looks for no reason, but always find reasons to love others’ assets.
We give space to the inner voice because it is comfortable and safe. However, this is not healthy as eventually we become overly critical of ourselves and feel miserable about how we look.
Therefore, in order to stop comparing your looks to others, you have to start silencing the inner critic.
How can you do this? By being grateful for everything about yourself and practicing self-love. Make a list of likes and dislikes regarding your personality. Write down all the qualities that you like about yourself and appreciate these aspects on a daily basis.
When the inner critic rears its ugly head, do not let it in. Instead, embrace yourself and love yourself even more for being so kind to yourself. When you feel insecure about how you look and hear those negative thoughts, change them to more positive ones.
Practice positive affirmations
Truth be told, change will not come overnight. It is a process and it takes time and effort in order to start loving yourself and your looks.
But in order to improve our self-esteem and stop comparing ourselves to others, we must take the necessary steps.
Positive affirmations are one of the greatest tools for changing how we feel about ourselves and our looks.
When we wake up and repeat to ourselves, “I am beautiful” or “I look great today”, we feel automatically better about how we look and start loving ourselves more.
In the morning, make sure to say something positive about your looks before going out, and do not let those negative thoughts creep in.
Recognize your own strengths
We are all perfect in some way and have some skills that not everyone else has.
When you stop comparing your looks to others, you will learn how to recognize strengths in yourself that not many possess. You start noticing things about yourself that no one else sees.
No matter how insecure you feel about your looks, there is something positive in everyone’s looks. For example, I have always been insecure about my height and hated being tall. One day though, when I stopped comparing myself to others, I noticed that the color of my eyes made them stand out among other women who were shorter than me.
It is important to stop comparing yourself to others because you will feel miserable otherwise. If you let the negative thoughts start creeping in, they will erase all of your positive traits and make you feel insecure about yourself.
Instead, every morning say something positive! Focus on what makes you special and what is good about how you look. You deserve to love yourself no matter who or what you compare it to because everyone has different
Recognize social media is having an impact on our mental health
Social media is also said to have an impact on mental health. The reason behind this is our tendency to compare ourselves to others. We often start feeling bad about the way we look.
What we often see on social media is often not realistic, when we see those edited pictures. We often start comparing ourselves and visualize that perfect look. What we don’t realize is that the beautiful person does not exist.
Therefore it is important to recognize what you see on social media is a lie. A person only showcases the best things about their appearance. We don’t see what most people actually go through.
Remember you can overcome your insecurities and stop comparing yourself to others.
When you find that you compare yourself to others. Remember that the power is with you to stop these comparisons. everyone is beautiful in their own way and everyone has unique qualities.
Be proud of the way you look and don’t feel bad about what other people think or say.
The focus should be on accepting yourself as a whole. Your friend may look a particular way, but your competition should be to better yourself every day.
When you stop comparing yourself to others, that is when you will be the happiest and will feel peace.
Some affirmations to help you love your looks and body include:
“I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
“I am grateful for my body and all that it does for me.”
“I appreciate my unique beauty and all of my features.”
“I look great today and I am feeling confident.”
“I am a loving person and I love myself.”
“I am perfect the way that I am.”