Comparing yourself to someone else is something a lot of us do. It’s almost as if we can’t help ourselves – as if we are hardwired to do it.
And while there are some benefits to compare, such as trying to improve ourselves, the majority of the time comparing ourselves to others does more harm than good.
When we compare ourselves to others, we are automatically placing them in a higher position than us.
“Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to others” meaning
This quote means that you can only be happy when you stop comparing yourself and your life to other people because no 2 people are alike.
If you stop comparing yourself to others you will be able to enjoy what life has offered you rather than always thinking about whether another person is better off than you are.
We are judging ourselves and our lives against someone else, and more often than not this leads to feelings of sadness, anger, or envy.
We may feel like we are not good enough, or that our life is not worth living.
Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges.
The truth is there is no way to really know what someone else’s life is like until you have lived in it.
For instance, you may look at other people’s photos on Facebook or Instagram and think that they have a better life than yours because they appear to be happy in their photos.
But other people usually only show off the best parts of their life and hide away the parts that aren’t as good.
For instance, a couple may post a photo of themselves on their honeymoon, ignoring the fact that they are struggling to keep up with their mortgage repayments and have to work long hours to make ends meet.
You can either carry on comparing yourself to others, which will make you unhappy because you think your life is worse than theirs, or you can stop looking at how other people are living and make the most of your own life.
What happens when you stop comparing yourself with others?
When you stop comparing yourself to others, you can start to appreciate the things that make you unique.
You may also find that you are more content with your life, as you are no longer constantly trying to keep up with what other people are doing.
It can be difficult to not compare yourself to others, especially when social media makes it so easy to do.
But if you can manage to break the habit of comparing yourself, you may find that you are happier and more content with your life.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
Comparison occurs because we are filled with insecurities, shame, and doubts about ourselves. And to feel better about ourselves we check to see how we measure up to others.
We think that if we fair well when compared to others we will feel good about ourselves.
The only problem is that there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, or more successful than us. So, we never truly feel like we are good enough.
How do you stop comparing yourself to others?
Understand why you are comparing yourself to others.
When you understand why you are comparing yourself to others, it can be easier to stop. Usually, we compare ourselves to others because we are insecure about something.
We may think that if we are better than other people in some way, then we will feel better about ourselves.
Others start the comparison game because they are not satisfied with how their own lives are turning out. Maybe you are in a job you don’t love, or you are in an unhappy marriage.
You look at other people’s lives because you’re not satisfied with your own.
But the truth is that no matter how well we do when compared to others, we will always find someone who is better than us. So, it’s not a healthy way to try and boost our self-esteem.
Identify your triggers.
The next step in overcoming comparison is to catch what triggers your need to compare yourself. To do this, try and think about when you are most likely to compare yourself to others. Here are some things to pay attention to:
For instance are you on social media when you start comparing yourself? Or is it when you see someone wearing fancy clothes?
What you compare
Maybe you compare your job to other people. Or you compare your relationships. Identify which areas you are most likely to compare yourself to others in.
And consider if it is an area where you lack confidence or feel unsatisfied about it in your life. Why is it so important to you>
Do you tend to compare yourself to a specific person? Maybe you are unconsciously using this person to see how well you are doing in your life.
Or maybe you have some past resentments against them. What is it about this person that makes you compare yourself to them?
When you compare
Are you more likely to compare yourself to someone else when you are feeling down about yourself? Or maybe when your
How you compare
It can be perfectly normal to compare yourself to someone else if you are simply trying to improve yourself.
But the moment it makes you feel bad about yourself, or superior to someone else, the comparison becomes unhealthy. So think about how you compare yourself to other people.
Minimize your triggers
Once you have identified your triggers, try and minimize them. If you find yourself triggered by social media, limit how long you spend on it.
If you find yourself comparing your relationship to others in a negative way, avoid talking about relationships.
When you begin to feel triggered, or better yet when you think you are in a situation that will trigger you, remove yourself from the situation and do something else instead. Meditate, or exercise.
Learn to love and accept yourself
Minimizing your triggers is a temporary solution. Eventually, you will need to deal with the core reason for your trigger.
People usually engage in self-comparison because of low self-esteem or because they don’t really love themselves enough
Ask yourself which one of the above is the core reason for you comparing yourself to others. If you don’t know the answer, then try and work on all 3.
Here are some things you can begin doing right now to stop comparing yourself:
Practice gratitude daily
Gratitude is a simple way to feel satisfied with your own life and to appreciate the things you have.
Research has found that individuals who think of 3 things they are grateful for every day are significantly healthier and happier.
Sometimes when we compare our lives to others it is because we haven’t taken the time to appreciate all the things we do have. Take 5 minutes every morning to sit with yourself and think of 3 things you are grateful for.
Another similar activity is to list your accomplishments and achievements daily. It’s easy to ignore our successes in life, especially when we compare ourselves to others.
When you see someone who is more successful than you it can be easy to forget all the ways in which you have succeeded in life.
So everyday thing of something you accomplished that day – it will immediately make you feel more productive, and better about your own life.
Create your own path
There are many people who choose to follow in the footsteps of their parents or other family members. While there is nothing wrong with this, it can stifle your own growth and success.
Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, it is because we are not following our own dreams or desires.
And sometimes, this sadness is because we feel like we have failed the expectations of others around us.
At other times it is because we are not satisfied with the way our life is unfolding.
Try and write down what you would like to accomplish in life, and what is holding you back.
Comparing yourself to someone else is a sign that there is something that you are not happy about in your own life.
Take part in self improvement
When you start improving yourself, you automatically start feeling better about yourself.
Whether it is losing weight, exercising more, or trying a new hobby – take part in things that will make you feel better about yourself.
Once you start improving yourself and your life, there won’t be much time left to compare yourself to others!
Pass on kindness
One of the best ways to stop comparing ourselves to others is by reaching out and helping those around us. When we focus on helping other people and making their lives better we realize how great our own lives are.
So do an act of kindness for someone else today- give them a compliment, help them carry something heavy, or just lend an ear when they need one.
It feels really good to be kind to others and can make a huge difference in how you feel today. – so pass on some kindness!
If you compare yourself to others you are not alone
I used to regularly compare myself to others. This is because I always felt like I was falling short of others and that there was something better out there. When the reality is that the only thing holding me back from my goals was myself.
I used to think that other people were more confident, or had it easier in life.
But as I started opening up to friends, family members, and even strangers about this topic I realized how many people also compare themselves to others regularly.
Once you start talking about it with people; you realize how much you are not alone – which can be a huge relief.
Don’t forget to download our free 5 day self love challenge.
Our FREE 5-day self-love challenge, includes self-love activities that will help you develop a greater sense of self-love and acceptance, and is definitely worth checking out.
Loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do in life. When you love yourself, you are kinder to yourself and have more compassion for your own mistakes. You also accept yourself for who you are, faults and all.
When you love and accept yourself, it becomes much easier to be kind to others as well. You no longer compare yourself to others, because you understand that we are all different and that is ok.
By focusing on comparing yourself to others, you are only hurting yourself. Focusing on when you have succeeded in life, and when you have helped others-you open up your mind, which enables you to see the great things that are happening in your own life. – so don’t forget to pass on some kindness today!